Patria .

I'm not sure where I stand anymore. Which way the wind blows, or how to even get home. I just know that this isn't the life I had intended for. I wanted something much bigger than minimal interaction and one sided sorta love. I wanted to feel entitled to triumph, devoted to the growth my heart yearned for. There's such a thing as ego that has destroyed about everything that I have ever loved in my life. It has raped my family to shreds, taken hostage of the children who roamed between sheets at night. Has evicted any given man that has ever felt connected with my entity.

There's no way really to explain the clash there is between wanting to create life and having it destroyed before my eyes/ The world has become the enemy of anything ever lasting. We've turned against our mother land and our siblings. We have governments trying to restrain to the lands of our fathers that we've always known as sanctuary. There is nothing to teach our children, there's no example set aside to explain purity. The numbers of death speak power, the amount of profit in the stock market demonstrates entitlement, The colour of our sisters skin will define her worth.

My child will never understand love between nations, the flavor of foods, the taste of the oceans that divide us from our roots. Never will it understand the power of prayer. The emotion of passion or the sound of their very own soul. Sand and particles will never touch these beautifully combined chromosomes. Never will languages be taught inside our walls, How will dinners be seasoned, Where will I attain rhythm to pass onto the curves my child will possess?

Love or something like it.

I know how to tuck myself away between your warmth and it has never felt so sweet. I love the man that you set out to be-The man you've said to set out to be. I've learned plenty about kindness and humility by your side; Noise is as loud as one makes it.

But we both know what can happen when I don't feel you indulge inside the curves and waves of the woman that sits within me. I've yearned for love making that escapes me from my past, that detoxifies my body from the sins of yesterdays mistakes.

I want to discover treasures in barcelona, I'd like to capture moments in greece, swim beneath deepest oceans and sail across the most mystical seas. I wouldn't ever want to take you away from your mother's birth land or the roots of your youth.

I'd love to harvest below a land that says our name with the running of the wind. We could build fences, and raise cows, come alive with the roosters and the hens every morning day. I would sing our first born to sleep as I watched you pick apples from the the most strongest, sweetest trees.

Lately it's all felt like wishful thinking and one sided pursuing. I'm not sure if i'm feeling these fumes with limbo or if you're still standing in the same place, asking for my hand in full matronmony. I wouldn't want the universe taking you away. But I shouldn't have to sell my dreams for your fears.

Love living inside of me, as I love living within you.

Flow.

>

Turn over.

I have a thirst that's fist clenching, a dehydration that is using up all my preservatives, an appetite that is leaving me gasping for the most tender and richest of spices and textures. Finally, I feel my body craving the nutrition that it's lacked. Harvesting my desires, turning over soil to the better-messy side of things.

Where had all of me gone? I was developing instincts I didn't recognize within me. Conforming into this mutated of a human; I can't even begin comprehending. Noise became my most safest custom. I drew close to hearts that didn't tell much, hearts that were greater than life, hearts that just hadn't found the chanting of their beat. I didn't know how people could live this way. Live with no voice, no direction, no realism.

I just wanted you to feel the way you made me feel when I felt I had found more than just geography. I needed to return the ransom for saving the life of a girl that had everything to lose and nothing to attain. At least all the noise made me believe so. I wanted nothing but to give you back the life you had woken up between the spaces I always filled up with sadness and depression. Fuck, did It feel so good to see the way you'd look at me, the sound of your voice was taking the air right out of my lungs.

I thought I knew what I was doing when I told you that I just couldn't live without you. I truly believed in the fire that was burning through my entity. All you ever did was play with the pieces of me. Throwing around insecurities and hours that turned into days. Days that broke away at the skeleton I felt you could see right into.

To feel like you've found balance and then have it ripped right away from you. I can only think it's the most biggest tease of life. I had just started living.

I wish for you to finally , listen.