brb,

after tonight; i'll have so much to write about.

GUARANTEED!

so what if i'm over emotional
and i wear my heart on my self.
if i give too many chances
and my judgement can be poor at times.
i do admit to repeat the same mistake more than once..or twice..or thirteen times.
but you don't get it.
You sit there and judge me; my life.
You've heard the story but have no idea what i've had to go through in order to get myself here.
Im gonna keep making more mistakes, and i will probably hurt just as much as the first time.
so what if i lose myself from time to time,
theres always a new woman to create.
yeah, sometimes i shouldnt trust my judgement , but i've learned that i really cant trust anything.
Because nothing is permanent; opinions and facts change.
Humans are hypocritical and are motives are always selfish.
i guess what im trying to say is, its okay. i'm okay.
everything is evolving and i'd like to believe i'm part of that movement.

Merci.

Day 2: I am thankful for the ladies I work with @ BodyBlitz. We don't exchange stories or problems but yet we are able to laugh off the stress of everyday life and enjoy what we do. I am so thankful for having an escape away from reality where I can put my all into something and see how happy it makes somebody. <3 Thank you ladies.

Gracias

Today i am thankful for taking time out and going to pamper myself with some lovely friends. I never do things like this for myself. Def will become something I do once a month!

Sweet Cheers xx

I guess the hardest part right now is finding out where I belong to. I have absolutely no idea how the tables turned, how i stand here with my feet barely touching the ground. I was overachieving for a future beyond comprehension and now what? I am so lost for words. lost for emotions and visuals of this out come. A foundation made out of strong cement and rough paneling; where are the fruits of that labor? i just don't know anymore.
what anything means;
what love feels like,
kisses taste like,
blissfulness smells like,

I suppose its safe to say;
i lost all direction .

Lose your clothes and show your scars.

"i'm holding your hand but you're barely holding on"

They're some things about my life that I've always made sure I walked around without ever having a glance, millions of mistakes and bruises I've vanished out. To be completely honest, I've casted out all sorts of memories regarding me and my adolescence history. I became good at it ; you know.. Pretending but eventually evolving into the woman I've always wanted to be. Leaving bad habits behind, old mix tapes of my favorite songs, nights of infatuated lovin'.

She won't let you go unless she stands alone.
Like kryptonite to superman ,
sobriety to an addict;
you shingle me like a minority.

I don't want to lose her, darling.
You know how much investing with poker chips I don't have I've gambled?
I feel nothing waking up in the morning anymore; no lungs underneath my breasts, no vision to capture my scenery, no hunger for life.

I guess what i'm saying is ; i'm having a feeling, one that's imprisoning me.
So, let me dry out in your eyes because we all know.. WE ALL KNOW, I won't ever let you go.

We'll never fall.

it's been keeping you away ; you tell me all the reasons as to why you can not stay.
To wipe away the tears, to applaud me in pride, having you just love me for the woman i am today. Every little piece of me you see when you just begin to believe. I begin to breath again at the moment of your return I will never let you get away. So kiss me one more time. Let me remember your touch, and I'll have you tattoo a part of you onto my backbone. Because you'll be power of my movement and the stimulation of my pulse. Just don't ever forget to remember me. Just hold me close to your being.
So ill let the memory take over me, give me a rush to the head as i hold my truth.