Tuesday, November 30, 2010

More Lessons Learned.


1. People will always talk about you regardless of what you're doing. I've realized this finally and as much as I wish i could change what other's believe and clear the record; i'm done. It's pathetic how much I defend my name and my life. You have no idea what i've been through or go through on a regular basis , so mind your own life and let me do me; i'm getting through it just fine.

2. Human beings are extremely selfish and manipulative. I understand that at the end of the day everyone has their own motives but seriously, does it take so much to try to give someone else a helping hand and put your stuff aside for a second? Try it out, it may end up making you feel great afterwards.

3. Trust is a lie. I use to say that the only people I could sincerely trust with my life were my selected few friends but now that I see how contradicting some actions are, I don't believe in that. This doesn't mean at all that I don't value or share myself ; but i'm definitely more cautious with what I say and how much of my power I give away to anyone.

4. Being sorry and forgiving isn't weakness; it's being the better person. Don't ever apologize because you are expecting one back. Do it because it comes from the heart. This also makes you feel so much better. Forgiving is one of the toughest things you can do but there's no use dwelling on pain that will only cripple you.

5. Stay true to yourself but watch your words; I'm very blunt and I've realized some people can't take this and I am aware that some of the things I've said have had a very bad way of coming out of my mouth. Say what you need to say but there's always a way to do it.

6. Don't give your opinion unless you've been asked; People don't appreciate it and other's can't handle the truth.

7. Karma is a bitch. A bigger one than i'll ever be. Sometimes it feels as if many of the things that I wish I had control over in my life are apart of the karmic circle I'm still paying for because of bad choices I made for myself.

8. Nobody is responsible for how I feel. Some might have had an impact on me, caused pain or joy; but what I did with those emotions and where I focused them has been entirely up to me.

9. I don't need somebody to make me feel like a woman. This year has been extremely difficult when it comes to being alone. As much as I want a man to compliment me, I understand why life has given me tough love and allowed me the opportunity to love myself.

10. I am my own back bone. Not by choice, but I have to give myself more credit for the things I do everyday to keep myself alive and healthy. I always said I couldn't do it alone but I guess I was wrong all along ; I'm proving that theory out everyday.

11. Some things time doesn't even erase. There will always be some pains that life itself doesn't heal, memories that won't disappear, and reality that life won't ever paint as a facade. But everything's just a feeling and feelings don't last. As long as you can find a way to get yourself through the wave of emotions without hurting yourself or others; You're still winning.

12. I can read through almost anyone. You can pretend all you want that I don't know you're bad mouthing me or that you dislike me , but I know. I just like to kill you with kindness until you really wake a nerve in me, then I can be just as much of a bitch as you.

13. I pray for everyone that's ever entered my life every single night before bed. I don't care if you've hurt me, left me, used me, loved me, betrayed me, dropped me; At some point in my life something made us click and I did take something away from you in order to learn about me. That's enough to be thankful for. I hope everyone that's ever left is loved and wanted. I understand what lonely and broken feels like. I would never wish that upon anyone.

14. Oh , I understand that love can make us do some crazy things. It's not just a justification but rather an acceptance of the matter.


2010 taught me more than I could have ever known. <3
Thanks to the contributors of that ; EG, MR, FS, JS, AD, SS, BH, MV .

1 comment:

  1. You're amazing. I don't know how many times I tell you that, but I feel the need to express it again.

    You've had a tough year, from what I saw...I would say it was your toughest yet. You did some real soul searching and started the process of confronting your biggest demon of all; yourself.

    I'm humbled to be your friend and be such a large part of your life, thanks for incorporating me into your mechanics, I sincerely appreciate your company and your wisdom.

    I keep drawing inspiration from you and your actions and your lessons and your strength. Thanks for sharing your gifts.

    Keep learning, keep journeying. Keep being you.

    xo, thank you. :)

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