its 3am.
this loneliness is killing me.
me and the candle light.
i can almost swear it will be like this forever.
everybody is with their somebody.

Losing Grip.

my heart leaves with you. Wherever it is that you choose to depart to. Because just the fact that you had the guts to love me made me a woman today. We didn't work out and there are some things that are unforgivable but let me just say: if it wasn't for you. I would have never taken the first step in this master plan that has spread out in front of me in these past three years. Thank you, You won't understand how much I loved you. It's sad where we fall now.

YAY .

I got a new tattoo. Yes, impulse but I am so in love with it. I wanted it forever and designed it during tattoo class last year. It's still fresh and swallowen so dont mind it being a bit weird at the moment. and yes, the wrist effing kllls !

How much longer?

School and work are getting to me. It's tug a war. Whatever happened to a thing called sleep? Please. Just give me two days where I can sleep, eat, shower, tea, and do it all over again. I'm running out of energy. I want to be capable of doing everything. My hours, learning my shit at school, work, taking on lots of shifts to make $$$. I haven't even had the time to deal with my own stuff as of late. Where is there space for me? I miss being lazy and kicking back with friends. I miss just being alone and falling asleep in front of the TV. I miss old stuff. But at the same time I have two more months of this and then I get a grad party. A topic that will have to wait until the next entry.

Goodnight Readers. I am gonna go to bed now.
I doubt i'll even get up on time tomorrow.
8:30 everday for class is too early for me.

- M

I was reading the words of a beautiful woman today. Words that could have saved me. Words that were not comprehendable to me a year ago. A language I could not taste nor did I experiment with. Her words are now my soundtrack to life. I hear the beat play behind me, I understand now where she comes from. It is now I realize how unkind I was to myself, how much I had all the love I needed, and how much I wish to turn back time for all the right reasons. I'm fighting with myself at this very moment. I am asking you to take me back and love me again. I promise to dance to your drumming, to breath strongly with the power of the wilderness, and to discover myself and through the words of all the beautiful poets you once shared with me. It is now that I appreciate you more than ever. You are like a pearl in the chaos of the sea. Thank you for having faith in me.

Remember Always:

You deserve to be loved. I am so excited to finally get to meet you. To take the time with you and entertain ourselves with the beauty that we didn't really see clearly at a certain point in time. I love you and i am so thankful for you now. I am so sorry for ever banishing you, for ever thinking you weren't good enough. It wasn't your fault, It isn't your fault. You no longer need to be angry. It's over and we won't dwell anymore. We are going to love life and smile. We are going to embark on journey's across the sea, we will find love in places we thought we would never meet, we will give ourselves a name that fills us up with joy, and I promise you: I'll never cut your worth short again. You will always live in me. My heart will eternally be your home.

- M

Logically Speaking Out.

you're not my chase and you aren't my hope. But can i just say for the record: A guy like you is what I need to hold me down. I can see myself with somebody just like you. Someone to bring me down to earth and compliment me. To give me some breaks and find peace and silence for moments when they are necessary.whoever she is. she's gonna hit the jackpot. your amazing and you're going to see it soon enough. I can see you about to turn the corner.

<3