Vision of love.

This is truly turning into something quite beautiful. To watch the seasons change with you is something I look forward to. Cozy knitted sweaters  and discovering new phases; I'm thankful to be closing yet another season with you and layering up some more for beautiful Autumn days. 

Rainy days always turn into a mystery. 

Losing my way.

I am torn between what I was and what I am now. I can't deny who I loved but I also can't be a liar to my desires today. I've run out of reasons to stay in the now but I have no use for the past as well. The amount of mental breakdowns and tearful nights in the dark have me in rage. I can no longer scream into pillows and wish death upon the memories. Finding grace is leaking through the spaces I can no longer fill. Im exhausted, I am scared, I am vulnerable. I just want to shut out all the noise that haunts me. 

Sometimes you work your hardest ; you give all your love, dedicate all your valuable time, promise them the world and back but things just don't turn out the way you want them to.

but that's okay. You stood for something that in your own perception was beautiful and that's enough. 

" See, I've learned that God is more interested in changing me vs changing my circumstances . 

An exchange of stars and secrets .

The past few months I've come to learn so much about you. How your eyes sparkle when you see me shine , how passionate you are about the ambitions that you have. I've come to understand the concrete that has you at peace deep within you and I can't help but admire the man they've raised you to be. I have so much to thank you for but the biggest thank you that I could never truly express is your unconditional love for me , as a human being. It's your ability to find a way to quiet the noises in my head and give me an appetite to blossom bigger and brighter than ever before. A million thank you's for always seeing potential in the mix of it all.