A new beat in my heart.

I can't sleep just yet. There's something on my mind.

I had a shitty day to say the least. But this isn't a rant about it. Instead, i'm gonna try something different. Bare with me if it makes no sense. You might have to re-read it a few times.

I got into a few discussions today that really bothered me. But the biggest one of all was with myself. I was determined to not pick at myself today for anything I found wasn't good enough. I found a few easy scenarios where I could of ripped myself apart but instead I did something different: I took care of myself.

I'm going through a lot of changes that have me breaking into tears but instead of sitting with my sorrow and self pity today I altered the mourning process differently. I decided to stop looking at what happened today for at least an hour and did something for me. It was so nice to see how easy it felt once I started to. It didn't even feel fake what so ever.

I don't have it down completely. I'm a beginner at this self love thing. I always pick it up and drop it after a few tries. I might even fail again. But I am learning that when it comes to myself and my well being. Well, I have to think of this moment in time. Tomorrow isn't granted to me.

Ever since I started eating better, taking care of my appearance and my mental health as well; My body feels rewarded. And trust me, it helps on days when you just feel the world crashing down on you. How can you alter your mind set if you're treating the body that holds your spirit so terribly?

Think about it.
It took me way too long to realize it.
<3