“When I get lonely these days, I think: So BE lonely, Learn your way around loneliness. Make a map of it. Sit with it, for once in your life. Welcome to the human experience. But never again use another person’s body or emotions as a scratching post for your own unfulfilled yearnings.”

Quote(s) of the day.

In the end, I've come to believe in something I call "The Physics of the Quest." A force in nature governed by laws as real as the laws of gravity. The rule of Quest Physics goes something like this: If you're brave enough to leave behind everything familiar and comforting, which can be anything from your house to bitter, old resentments, and set out on a truth-seeking journey, either externally or internally, and if you are truly willing to regard everything that happens to you on that journey as a clue and if you accept everyone you meet along the way as a teacher and if you are prepared, most of all, to face and forgive some very difficult realities about yourself, then the truth will not be withheld from you.

- EAT.PRAY.LOVE.

Sharpen bones.

I have fault too?
All i ever tried to do was be a good person. I wanted to show him the world isn't a bad place, not everyone is out to get you.
I expected too much?
Kindness?Communication? Is that too much?
It's disrespect; it's as simple as that. Somebody can't take that much from you even if you've sorted out selections on the table.


I'm taking back my power.
to hell with him.

Detox.

My hearts aching, it's fist tight.
and my backs tingling, almost like fingers lingering down my spine.
my lips are yearning for the taste of our last kiss goodbye.
this all may sound silly but i became addicted too fast.
and now i sit here. in another time way too connected to the past.
nothing makes any sense. Non of it matters at all.
I am here.
you are there.
while our emotions float in the air.
i'd give just about anything to be next to you.
On this bed filled with photos, memories, sand and shells.
between these old hollow sheets that have no comfort, no molding.
just to be able to get high one more time.

te recuerdo.

Lo dejaría todo porque te quedaras
Mi credo, mi pasado, mi religión
Mi piel también la dejaría,
mi nombre, mi fuerza
Hasta mi propia vida

The last supper.

We all looked beautiful.After our long delay to the mountain tops of one of the most beautiful restaurants my eyes have ever seen.Much ranting and overwhelmed emotions: Tonight was our last night on this gorgeous island. We ordered lobster, fish and some beers. It had been our second time there that week but I had already felt like a regular. The cigarettes began sparking one by one, smoke filled the air, laughter began sinking through our entire table. We reminisced on our entire week. The amazing people we have met, the drunken nights, the silly jokes we had come up with. Slowly I found my hand find your leg underneath the ceramic, white table. You turned to look at me and smiled and you whispered in my ear "Could I kiss you?" My smile said it all.I wanted this moment to last forever. Safe between those I knew and excited between those I came to care for. I pushed the thought very far from my mind,body,and soul; I had less than 24 hours here.With you,with my roots, my ancestor's.
Later that night, you took my hands as we walked away from the music and conversations. Nothing mattered anymore. Just you and me against the world. And I reached up and kissed you. Kissed you like my sanity depended on it. You grabbed my waist and embraced my entire essence. "Promise me something: promise me that no matter what you do in life, you'll be great at it. Promise me you'll never believe a dream is too small or too silly. Promise me you'll remain beautiful". I looked deep into his brown Spanish eyes "I swear".

I'll never let you go. Not the memory nor the promises.
not the nights of lessons nor the ways I begun coming into my own.

i miss u.